Motherhood and Womanhood as Illustrated in Tillie Olsen’s Essay

Tillie Olsen’s â€Å"I Stand Here Ironing,† is a short story presented in monologue form which reverberates a mother’s angst over motherhood and the stereotypical images attached by society to the female gender (particularly to womanhood and motherhood), which as a result becomes an image that the reflected takes on. The mother, whose identity was not divulged, illustrates the character’s universal relevance in terms of the images that she creates in the minds of the readers that as one listens to the mother’s reflections one may find herself entangled in the same situation and, perhaps, even share the same sentiments with the protagonist, even if the reader comes from a different time and place. The whole monologue translates the metaphorical â€Å"ironing-out† or straightening what she perceives as the â€Å"wrinkled† part of her personality of and the world around the main character using imageries that seem to conceal what is really happening within the individual’s reality. Her recollections of the past suggests one of the definitive behaviors women, regardless of time and space, have performed (sometimes with resentment but most of the times willingly— perhaps since the outside perceived pressure is insurmountable or they just want to maintain their sanity despite of the challenges): inability to translate into assertive words and actions what they really feel at the time when these should have been their refuge to their predicament. Hence, resentment is contained in a vacuum until such time when the ‘self’ could no longer contain the pressure she begins to vent out her emotions to other persons, things or events. Thus we hear the protagonist, in the end saying, â€Å"â€Å"My wisdom came too late. She has much to her and probably little will come of it. She is a child of her age, of depression, of war, of fear† (par 50). Realization dawned on her at a time least expected – when relationships (between mother and daughter) seemed to be â€Å"on the rocks,† when years that could have been considered most precious to the mother as well as to the mother have already past, and when everything else (the frailty [physically and emotionally]) of both characters (mother and daughter) could have been restored. Imagery colors the mothers’ world long before reality sets in. â€Å"She was a beautiful baby †¦ You do not guess how new and uneasy her tenancy in her now — loveliness (par 4); I was nineteen. It was the pre-relief, pre-WPA world of the depression (par 8): you spoke of her rare gift for comedy on the stage that [aroused] laughter out of the audience so dear they applaud and applaud and do not want to let her go (par 17). Even the convalescent home where Emily was forced to stay after her mother could not keep her any longer is described in the mother’s monologue as a place that resembles a saintly sanctuary: â€Å"Oh it is a handsome place, green lawns and tall trees and fluted flower beds. High up on the balconies of each cottage the children stand, the girls in their red bows and white dresses, the boys in white suits and giant red ties (par 26); she is more than this dress on the ironing board, helpless before the iron (par 51), which illustrates the paradox in the main character’s and her daughter’s life – the iron represents her as the mother who tries to straighten out the wrinkles (seemingly problematic condition in her daughter’s life as well as in her personality, which are represented by the dress being ironed out [before it was beautiful and served as a covering for the body, figuratively a conceals the characters’ soul and real identities]); both and the board and the iron served may be perceived as the outside pressures [the mother, represented by the iron being pressed by significant other’s stereotypical conception on motherhood and womanhood and the board, may be perceived as the sturdy socio-cultural norms that unavoidably shapes others’ perception of the main characters’ roles and identities. In all of these situations, reality (which is generally described as depressing) are presented alternately with the pleasant imageries creating an impression of concealing what is in existence like the mask that the mother has, perhaps put on for a long time before she finally had the courage to accept the natural order of things. The mother in the story, while ironing, â€Å"attempts to understand or â€Å"iron out† her ambivalent feelings towards her nineteen year-old daughter Emily, the oldest among her five children, and who is described as having a troubled childhood. Her monologue moves between the present and the past, starting from Emily’s birth during the â€Å"Depression† era of the 1930’s when the she was herself was just nineteen years old. With the monologue, the mother painfully recollects how she neglected Emily because of circumstances beyond her control. Throughout the mother’s monologue, the intended recipient of the message remained unnamed, although there was a particular mention of a social worker in the story (par. 30) and one hears the third person at the beginning of the mother’s monologue, â€Å"She’s a youngster who needs help and whom I’m deeply interested in helping. † In the monologue, the mother reveals her responsibility and guilt in motherhood. As the finishes her monologue, one could feel how she is caught between feeling responsible for her daughter’s unhappy childhood and recognizing her powerlessness and lack of alternatives. Nonetheless she realizes her own identity is separate from her daughter: even though she is part of her daughter yet separate from her, hence her daughter has a life of her own. In the end the mother ends her monologue: She is a child of her age, of depression, of war, of fear. Let her be. So all that is in her will not bloom — but in how many does it? There is still enough left to live by. Only help her to know-help make it so there is cause for her to know — that she is more than this dress on the ironing board, helpless before the iron (par 51). In much the same way, the person having a mind of her own, may choose to follow or reject how her significant other’s (in this case, the mother) upbringing (so Emily is described as, â€Å"She kept too much in herself, her life was such she had to keep too much in herself) (par 50). † Such behavior is explained in a study conducted by Robert Karen (1990) in which he stressed there are traits that are learned— that whether a person trusts others or not, whether one anticipates love or rejection, whether one will feel good about himself as a person depends on how much an individual learns from his significant others: These are not inherited traits, they are learned; and although subject to change, they are initially determined by the sensitivity and reliability of the care you received in your first years (in Karen 15). Because of the pressing process the characters have learned to adjust to imposing situations (how they react [whether positively or negatively] depends on how they perceive the process). Both characters’ personalities were subjected to the pressing forces of society and each person’s reactions to these pressures. The â€Å"ironing† process ended up straightening â€Å"wrinkled† dress (problematic characters); the change did not take place out of the individuals’ efforts but because they were forced by outside empowering factors. Without these outside forces, these characters might have remained â€Å"wrinkled† nonetheless. Hence both the process of â€Å"ironing out† has become both a necessity and a luxury (since there could be different modes of â€Å"ironing out† (others could be less tiring and takes only a while). Works Cited: Karen, Robert. (February 1990) â€Å"Becoming Attached,† Atlantic Monthly. Retrieved April 09, 2009 from http://www. psychology. sunysb. edu/attachment/online/karen. pdf Olsen, Tillie. â€Å"I Stand Here Ironing†